I realize that I have not written in an extremely long time. In all honesty, not only have I not had the energy or desire to try and sum up my thoughts publicly, I've been outright dreading it. This is not a blog I ever anticipated nor would have ever wanted to write.
I have some very sad news from Argentina. Jorge, my host-father and the 9 year partner of my host-mom Ana, passed away two weeks ago while I was away on my trip to Brazil. He suffered a heart attack in his sleep on Dia de la Madre, Mother's Day. I just found out on Monday. Santi, Jorge's son and my host-brother, is living with his mother now, not Ana, and although I do not know how he is doing (I can only imagine), I know that he is surrounded by his friends right now who are wishing him well. Ana is still struggling to accept the sudden loss of the love of her life. It's a fresh and frightening battle everyday. But still she makes a point of reminding me and all of her other well-wishers that she believes in God and hopes He has a plan. Life must continue, she says.
For me it is very strange. I know that Jorge was not my father, but at the very least he was a good friend, a confidante, someone who I relied upon for help when I needed it, and even grew to admire. I remember that Monday I'd been so excited to tell him all about my travels and show off how well my Spanish has become. He taught me so much. I wish I could thank him now.
But more than that, I am pained for the family now. They opened their home and their lives to me. They shared with me their traditions, their daily routines, their memories, and went to every trouble to ensure that I felt like I was one of them. I do. And now that that family of mine is torn apart and hurting, I have this awful absurd unfounded feeling that when I pack up my suitcase and board the plane 7 days from now, I will be abandoning them.
I already had a terrible dreading and anxiety about leaving here. I knew I would. But I also feel like now everything is changed. It's my last weekend in the city and instead of hitting the bars and boliches and taking the boisterous BsAs nightlife by storm, I'm eating dinner at home with Ana and the kids. There's really, truly nowhere else in this wide world I'd rather be.
I am not at all ready to go.
I feel so irreconcilably torn.
I don't have sinply A home or A family. In reality, I have two of each. My heart, in transient orbit, is being pulled as if by gravity to two separate spheres, confused and helpless to drive itself towards the wisest course.
Time. It is made, and taken, and spent, and lost, and killed, and counted. And somehow though it never rests or ceases its self perpetuation, there never seems to be enough of it.
Siempre es un tema del tiempo.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
This is an apology
My time here is drawing to a close which means that my weeks have become that much more compacted of things worth writing about, leaving very few free moments to actually write.
I'm about to take off on a 10 day adventure to Iguazu Falls and Rio de Janeiro so I will not be able to update for awhile however I will have millions of tales to tell upon return I'm sure.
But in the meantime, please remind me to discuss:
My family asado
My birthday in the park with jazz
My trip to Teatro Colon
La Casita de los ninos
Bueno?
Listo.
Dale!
CHAO!
I'm about to take off on a 10 day adventure to Iguazu Falls and Rio de Janeiro so I will not be able to update for awhile however I will have millions of tales to tell upon return I'm sure.
But in the meantime, please remind me to discuss:
My family asado
My birthday in the park with jazz
My trip to Teatro Colon
La Casita de los ninos
Bueno?
Listo.
Dale!
CHAO!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
International Audition Insight
Well yesterday was the day! I finally made it in to audition for Cibrian and Mahler's Dracula el musical.
It was...
interesting.
SO unlike any other audition I've ever done. First of all in the States normally your asked to come prepared with a few bars of a song or monologue or something, especially in massive open calls where there's lots of "Oh I think I wanna be an actor today!" people to weed out. But not in Argentina.
Our initial audition process was somewhat more of a call back from my point of view. We were asked to come in rehearsal clothes, which to the portenas meant fishnets and bootyshorts, and greeted by the eccentric and flamboyant Pepito Cibrian, the Elton John of Argentina of sorts. He speaks with a soft high voice, wears giant circle sunglasses, and had his enormous white dog in the theatre, just wandering the aisles and the stage!
They split us up into groups to learn a few phrases of the love balad. It was pretty but fairly simple, not Sondheim by any stretch that's for sure. So we gathered around this piano in the theatre lobby with this curly headed cute but nerdy lookin guy about 30 years old at the keys... the composer! No big deal, we're just singing Mahler's own music back to him and hoping we're not slaughtering it! After we each took a turn he wrote down who he liked and passed us along to the next level.
Inside the theatre we stretched and warmed up on the stage (OOH it felt so good to be on a stage again!!) until the choreographer, also wearing booty shorts, called our attention and started to teach us the audition dance. Now, I did as much research as I could through Youtube to get an idea of what I'd be asked to do for this show. The only dancing I saw was a party waltz with women in huge hoop skirts, Les Mis wedding status. But for reasons I still have not deduced, we were dancing to an 80's pop song by Madonna! The first move was a bunch of shoulder and hip bounces and the last was a backbended pelvic thrust. You can fill in the rest of the dance from point A to point B with your own imagination... and it probably still won't come out as ridiculous as in reality.
After we shook our groove thangs, Pepito called up individual numbers at random and asked them to sing the whole love ballad, and more! Along with having them do strange adjustments, like having a girl tie up her shirt and sing it really seductively, or a guy sing the leading lady's solo. Needless to say... everyone waiting in the wings were shaking in our boots, me probably more than anyone being that I only memorized the few stanzas from the one love ballad and even cold reading them off a page would be difficult for me! Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) he only called about 10 people up out of the 100+ who were there and I wasn't one of them. The majority of us were then released and given the "Muchas gracias." One of the girls from my initial group was called back, and I remember thinking she was alright but definitely not spectacular. So in all honesty I have no idea what they were looking for! I asked one of the my fellow auditioners if that's how they all go, and he said yes almost exactly.
But hey! I did it. I sang my Spanish for Angel Mahler and danced my little heart out for Pepito so what more is there? All in all it was an exhilarating, harrowing, hilarious, and helpful experience that I'm really glad I had. After that ordeal, I should be able to walk into any audition confident and nerve-free right?
It was...
interesting.
SO unlike any other audition I've ever done. First of all in the States normally your asked to come prepared with a few bars of a song or monologue or something, especially in massive open calls where there's lots of "Oh I think I wanna be an actor today!" people to weed out. But not in Argentina.
Our initial audition process was somewhat more of a call back from my point of view. We were asked to come in rehearsal clothes, which to the portenas meant fishnets and bootyshorts, and greeted by the eccentric and flamboyant Pepito Cibrian, the Elton John of Argentina of sorts. He speaks with a soft high voice, wears giant circle sunglasses, and had his enormous white dog in the theatre, just wandering the aisles and the stage!
They split us up into groups to learn a few phrases of the love balad. It was pretty but fairly simple, not Sondheim by any stretch that's for sure. So we gathered around this piano in the theatre lobby with this curly headed cute but nerdy lookin guy about 30 years old at the keys... the composer! No big deal, we're just singing Mahler's own music back to him and hoping we're not slaughtering it! After we each took a turn he wrote down who he liked and passed us along to the next level.
Inside the theatre we stretched and warmed up on the stage (OOH it felt so good to be on a stage again!!) until the choreographer, also wearing booty shorts, called our attention and started to teach us the audition dance. Now, I did as much research as I could through Youtube to get an idea of what I'd be asked to do for this show. The only dancing I saw was a party waltz with women in huge hoop skirts, Les Mis wedding status. But for reasons I still have not deduced, we were dancing to an 80's pop song by Madonna! The first move was a bunch of shoulder and hip bounces and the last was a backbended pelvic thrust. You can fill in the rest of the dance from point A to point B with your own imagination... and it probably still won't come out as ridiculous as in reality.
After we shook our groove thangs, Pepito called up individual numbers at random and asked them to sing the whole love ballad, and more! Along with having them do strange adjustments, like having a girl tie up her shirt and sing it really seductively, or a guy sing the leading lady's solo. Needless to say... everyone waiting in the wings were shaking in our boots, me probably more than anyone being that I only memorized the few stanzas from the one love ballad and even cold reading them off a page would be difficult for me! Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) he only called about 10 people up out of the 100+ who were there and I wasn't one of them. The majority of us were then released and given the "Muchas gracias." One of the girls from my initial group was called back, and I remember thinking she was alright but definitely not spectacular. So in all honesty I have no idea what they were looking for! I asked one of the my fellow auditioners if that's how they all go, and he said yes almost exactly.
But hey! I did it. I sang my Spanish for Angel Mahler and danced my little heart out for Pepito so what more is there? All in all it was an exhilarating, harrowing, hilarious, and helpful experience that I'm really glad I had. After that ordeal, I should be able to walk into any audition confident and nerve-free right?
El Calafate: 4 de Octubre
I did it. I planned it, booked it, paid for it, and made it all happen exactly how I wanted it to. I'm on the plane now thats going to take me home to the land, or the city rather (there's no land there at all) of noise and air pollution swarming with pretentious portenos. It was a lovely lazy weekend. I made lots of connections with friendly people I will probably, well certainly never see again. But we shared our travels and adventures and times of rest together passing through the world and each others' lives breifly... kinda like the Patagonian wind that carries itself from the salty Pacific high over the Andes depositing its moisture on frozen peaks in exchange the alpine chill that it in turn disburses over the grey expansive steppe of South America.
Give and take and move on.
Give and take and move on.
Monday, October 4, 2010
El Calafate: 3 de Octubre
Last night was great! I cooked myself a stirfry something just like I would back home and ate with the Australians, had an intense talk about rock climbing and chimi churri sauce with Pato the chef, and then shared some Piscola with Robert the German and this crazy Chileno. We went out to this teeny tiny little local bar with the guys who run our hostel and listened to a local reggae band, which was very fun. But I was very tired!
Today on the other hand was perfectly lovely. I strolled around the village a little, bought some post cards, and then walked over to the lake which is actually an ecology reserve for birds and sat and wrote them out. I was trying to relax and soak in the Patagonian sun the epic panoramic view of Lago Argentino and the Andes mountains but I was dying in the wind! It's harsh. The birds were amazing though. Flocks of wild pink flamingoes hanging out in the teal blue lagoon, flanked by yellow grass against a thin horizon of grey nothingness. It could almost be a mural with the back wall being the blue and white mountains and neon blue sky polka dotted with marshmallow clouds. And all the bird calls! Those trump piropos in the city anyday! So many different sounds and songs!
As I'm treading through the spongy wet marsh a pair of hawks swoops down in front of my face. They weren't afraid of me. They weren't afraid of anything. They live in a nature reserve in Patagonia. What threat could they possibly know out here? That's what stands out to me the most. There is a tangible calm and comfort in the nature, like this world truly is untouched and very well respected. My brochure said that all the plants and animals have different needs such as shelter and food, etc. and that's why there is so much biodiversity because they can all exist in the same habitat witout competing with each other for space and resources in order to survive. What a world they have?! If only in human society, our differences would ensure a peaceful existence rather than antagonize and destroy it.
I've been wondering what it would be like to have been born in El Calafate. How would you see the world as built by man, like a city such as Buenos Aires, if what you'd grown accustomed to and took for granted all your life were these grand scale natural wonders? The colors, the smells, the space, the sounds, all the elements that make you feel what you feel in a certain space and make you know it. Surely anywhere after this would be too busy and claustrophobic compared to here. And wasteful. And futile. Buildings and cars and clothes are so temporary. We, ourselves, are so temporary. These mountains and glaciers have been for a longer time than our transient minds can even grasp, nor are they moved at all by the mere misfortune that we don't grasp them. We don't matter to them, not the other way around. We are the ones that will pass away.
Today on the other hand was perfectly lovely. I strolled around the village a little, bought some post cards, and then walked over to the lake which is actually an ecology reserve for birds and sat and wrote them out. I was trying to relax and soak in the Patagonian sun the epic panoramic view of Lago Argentino and the Andes mountains but I was dying in the wind! It's harsh. The birds were amazing though. Flocks of wild pink flamingoes hanging out in the teal blue lagoon, flanked by yellow grass against a thin horizon of grey nothingness. It could almost be a mural with the back wall being the blue and white mountains and neon blue sky polka dotted with marshmallow clouds. And all the bird calls! Those trump piropos in the city anyday! So many different sounds and songs!
As I'm treading through the spongy wet marsh a pair of hawks swoops down in front of my face. They weren't afraid of me. They weren't afraid of anything. They live in a nature reserve in Patagonia. What threat could they possibly know out here? That's what stands out to me the most. There is a tangible calm and comfort in the nature, like this world truly is untouched and very well respected. My brochure said that all the plants and animals have different needs such as shelter and food, etc. and that's why there is so much biodiversity because they can all exist in the same habitat witout competing with each other for space and resources in order to survive. What a world they have?! If only in human society, our differences would ensure a peaceful existence rather than antagonize and destroy it.
I've been wondering what it would be like to have been born in El Calafate. How would you see the world as built by man, like a city such as Buenos Aires, if what you'd grown accustomed to and took for granted all your life were these grand scale natural wonders? The colors, the smells, the space, the sounds, all the elements that make you feel what you feel in a certain space and make you know it. Surely anywhere after this would be too busy and claustrophobic compared to here. And wasteful. And futile. Buildings and cars and clothes are so temporary. We, ourselves, are so temporary. These mountains and glaciers have been for a longer time than our transient minds can even grasp, nor are they moved at all by the mere misfortune that we don't grasp them. We don't matter to them, not the other way around. We are the ones that will pass away.
El Calafate: 2 de Octubre
Oh boy! How to describe this trip so far? AWESOME! Probably the most unique weekend I've yet to have in Argentina. I got in last night around 6pm and was chillin with the peeps in my hostel, sharing a beer with the German, chattin with the Irish, comparing scary movies with the Australian and vegetarian recipes with the Brit. I feel absolutely at home amongst all these foreigners in this barren cold land.
I booked the mini trek to Perito Moreno Glacier today. It rained but it was still spectacular. We got on the bus which took us 2 hours away to the Rico Brazo of Lago Argentino where we boarded a boat that took us across the water to the shore of the forest next to theis huge wall of ice. We hiked through the wet lush forest to the edge of what looked like a a monstrous white wave of snow frozen in mid lurch onto the rocks. The size of this thing is seriously inconceivable, yet there it is right in front of your eyes! We trekked across the beach and rocks to base camp where Diego our guide put on our crampons which reminded me of awkward metal bear traps on our feet. And then before you know it... I'M STANDING ON A GLACIER! Within 2 steps onto the ice I was satisfied. We could have turned around and gone home right then and there and it would have been worth it!
The mountains and peaks and valleys and crevices and holes that just defy wonder, pristine white, and sometimes a bright pure blue that I've only ever seen in gatorade flavors. (Aparently the blue parts are the older ice where it is most compacted, fun fact!) Trudging up and down to the sound of the crunch and slush of the giant ice cube under my metal claws accented by the tapping of the raindrops on the back of the awkward banana yellow rain coat, and asking for photos from the German girls while offering to take them for the sweet old Mexican couple who I always seemed to bump into right as they were having a romantic moment... such was the the trek! We reached our summit with an incredible panoramic of the glacier, the forest, the beach, and the lake where we came upon a set of tables nestled into the ice adorned with bottles of Scotch and alfajores for our adventurous pleasure! Coolest bar in the world....knee slapper!
After hiking back down and disembarking from our crampons we had some time to wander the forest and have lunch. I loved the solitue and the absolutely perfect beauty of the nature. I don't know how else to relate it, just breathing in freshness everywhere and treading on soft wet earth rich with red color, fallen trees black and soaked with rain, next to the crawling rock formations, grey shore, and the white-blue ice constantly cracking and churning in undetectable motion. I sat out on the rocks listening to the glacier for awhile. The 2 other Americans and the French boy joined me. As we were joking about how the whole front of Perito Moreno was going to fall down and kill us with a tidal wave, a huge chunk of the front wall broke off and went crashing into the lake in an enormous white splash! The sound of falling ice is so impressive. It's like thunder during a rainstorm except as if the clouds are made of stone smacking into each other. From the balconies we were able to see the glacier from a completely different perspective. Imagine an infinity of whiteness, like an ocean of ice that oozes out from the mountains. Absolutely spectacular. I'm so glad I had that experience because now I can describe to my grandchildren in vivid detail even the color and sound and smell of a glacier when they ask me what one was.
Now to recount some of the glacierology I learned today:
Glaciers dont have to be found in cold places or high elevations. The Patagonia ice field, roughly the size of the state of Israel and containing 300 glaciers, is in a low latitude and only 2,000 m above sea level. Patagonia glaciers are formed by the wind patterns that carry moisture from the Pacific Ocean up over the peaks of the Andes where they get cold and condense and form snow. The snow freezes in the upper part of the glacier, the ice factory they say, and eventually pushes down and out to the front with each season of new snows. Perito Moreno is only 450 years old and the 3rd largest in Argentina but its famous for its easy access and spectacular ice falls. It is also one of 2 stable non-receeding glaciers left in the world. All other glaciers are receeding and shrinking except for Perito Moreno and one more on the Chilean side. This is because its ice factory area is much much larger then its breking area so more ice is created than what breaks off in the spring each year. The other glaciers though are not so lucky. They've all been receeding since the ice age its true but the rate of breakage and melting has quadrupled in the past hundred years, much faster than its previous rate. This is a problem because Earth's glaciers regulate her atmospheric temperatures. It's like driving a car without any antifreeze or coolants basically. So yeah that's the tragic part. Listening to Marcelo our bus guide talk about it this morning made me want to cry! What more does our earth have to do to make us listen to it?
I guess the good news is that I finally found one place in Argentina where smoking is prohibed.
I booked the mini trek to Perito Moreno Glacier today. It rained but it was still spectacular. We got on the bus which took us 2 hours away to the Rico Brazo of Lago Argentino where we boarded a boat that took us across the water to the shore of the forest next to theis huge wall of ice. We hiked through the wet lush forest to the edge of what looked like a a monstrous white wave of snow frozen in mid lurch onto the rocks. The size of this thing is seriously inconceivable, yet there it is right in front of your eyes! We trekked across the beach and rocks to base camp where Diego our guide put on our crampons which reminded me of awkward metal bear traps on our feet. And then before you know it... I'M STANDING ON A GLACIER! Within 2 steps onto the ice I was satisfied. We could have turned around and gone home right then and there and it would have been worth it!
The mountains and peaks and valleys and crevices and holes that just defy wonder, pristine white, and sometimes a bright pure blue that I've only ever seen in gatorade flavors. (Aparently the blue parts are the older ice where it is most compacted, fun fact!) Trudging up and down to the sound of the crunch and slush of the giant ice cube under my metal claws accented by the tapping of the raindrops on the back of the awkward banana yellow rain coat, and asking for photos from the German girls while offering to take them for the sweet old Mexican couple who I always seemed to bump into right as they were having a romantic moment... such was the the trek! We reached our summit with an incredible panoramic of the glacier, the forest, the beach, and the lake where we came upon a set of tables nestled into the ice adorned with bottles of Scotch and alfajores for our adventurous pleasure! Coolest bar in the world....knee slapper!
After hiking back down and disembarking from our crampons we had some time to wander the forest and have lunch. I loved the solitue and the absolutely perfect beauty of the nature. I don't know how else to relate it, just breathing in freshness everywhere and treading on soft wet earth rich with red color, fallen trees black and soaked with rain, next to the crawling rock formations, grey shore, and the white-blue ice constantly cracking and churning in undetectable motion. I sat out on the rocks listening to the glacier for awhile. The 2 other Americans and the French boy joined me. As we were joking about how the whole front of Perito Moreno was going to fall down and kill us with a tidal wave, a huge chunk of the front wall broke off and went crashing into the lake in an enormous white splash! The sound of falling ice is so impressive. It's like thunder during a rainstorm except as if the clouds are made of stone smacking into each other. From the balconies we were able to see the glacier from a completely different perspective. Imagine an infinity of whiteness, like an ocean of ice that oozes out from the mountains. Absolutely spectacular. I'm so glad I had that experience because now I can describe to my grandchildren in vivid detail even the color and sound and smell of a glacier when they ask me what one was.
Now to recount some of the glacierology I learned today:
Glaciers dont have to be found in cold places or high elevations. The Patagonia ice field, roughly the size of the state of Israel and containing 300 glaciers, is in a low latitude and only 2,000 m above sea level. Patagonia glaciers are formed by the wind patterns that carry moisture from the Pacific Ocean up over the peaks of the Andes where they get cold and condense and form snow. The snow freezes in the upper part of the glacier, the ice factory they say, and eventually pushes down and out to the front with each season of new snows. Perito Moreno is only 450 years old and the 3rd largest in Argentina but its famous for its easy access and spectacular ice falls. It is also one of 2 stable non-receeding glaciers left in the world. All other glaciers are receeding and shrinking except for Perito Moreno and one more on the Chilean side. This is because its ice factory area is much much larger then its breking area so more ice is created than what breaks off in the spring each year. The other glaciers though are not so lucky. They've all been receeding since the ice age its true but the rate of breakage and melting has quadrupled in the past hundred years, much faster than its previous rate. This is a problem because Earth's glaciers regulate her atmospheric temperatures. It's like driving a car without any antifreeze or coolants basically. So yeah that's the tragic part. Listening to Marcelo our bus guide talk about it this morning made me want to cry! What more does our earth have to do to make us listen to it?
I guess the good news is that I finally found one place in Argentina where smoking is prohibed.
El Calafate: 1 de Octubre
This weekend I took off on a last minute trip down to the deep south of Argentina called Patagonia and had some incredible encounters with some of Earth's rarest and most precious natural wonders! Here's a little what I experienced...
1 de Octubre,2010
"Here I go. There's no turning back! My great adventure has begun!"
Thank you Sutton Foster and Little Women the musical for gracing my mental sound track right now. I feel incredible. Heart pounding, flutters in my stomach, tingling in my veins kind of incredible! I'm doing this! Saying piss off to the world and school and money and lets go get ourselves broke exploring frozen natureland all by ourselves with no one tagging along, holding us down, or helping us out. I'm sitting in this tiny Aerolineas Argentinos plane about to leave BsAs with $200 in my bank account and a carryon of stuff. I just love this anticipatory feeling... like knowing I'm on the verge of something unknown and feeling so empowered, so monumental that my own daring to stand on this edge overrides whatever fear I feel looking over it. I think that's the rush I'll miss when I go back home. But the perspective I'll have gained and the courage! What can't I do after Argentina? I have no excuse to ever be afraid or doubt myself ever again. That's the feeling of travel that I just can't adequately communicate, that I wish for people back home to know.
1 de Octubre,2010
"Here I go. There's no turning back! My great adventure has begun!"
Thank you Sutton Foster and Little Women the musical for gracing my mental sound track right now. I feel incredible. Heart pounding, flutters in my stomach, tingling in my veins kind of incredible! I'm doing this! Saying piss off to the world and school and money and lets go get ourselves broke exploring frozen natureland all by ourselves with no one tagging along, holding us down, or helping us out. I'm sitting in this tiny Aerolineas Argentinos plane about to leave BsAs with $200 in my bank account and a carryon of stuff. I just love this anticipatory feeling... like knowing I'm on the verge of something unknown and feeling so empowered, so monumental that my own daring to stand on this edge overrides whatever fear I feel looking over it. I think that's the rush I'll miss when I go back home. But the perspective I'll have gained and the courage! What can't I do after Argentina? I have no excuse to ever be afraid or doubt myself ever again. That's the feeling of travel that I just can't adequately communicate, that I wish for people back home to know.
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