15 de Octubre
"I am currently sitting on a bed on the veranda of our 4 star hotel in Iguazu. I love it up here! The air is moist and warm and tangible and floating with buzzing insects and bird calls. There is a world of rainforest and red earth surrounding us, beaten down viviendas painted colorfully in the mountains, red rivers, dark faces, indigenous handicrafts. THIS is South America. THIS is hat I was expecting when I came down here. This is almost not Argentina, it feels like a completely different country up here. Minus the asado and the mate it might as well be, because those are the only shreds of culture that seem to have carried over into this ttropical jewel of a place. If I could live anywhere in Argentina, this place is my favorite so far!"
16 de Octubre
"Wow! What a day! What an incredible experience! I've seen and down alot of impressive things down here but I think Iguazu trumps all of them! Every single moment of awe got better and better as we got closer and wetter and the falls just grew bigger and more impressive, and there's CoQui just smiling with her mate saying "Oh trust me... it gets better than this!" First we walked around the upper pass and saw a panoramic of al the falls and walked over them. Then we took a train through the rainforest to the othe side to see La Garganta del Diablo (The Devil's Throat). WOW. I just.... reached a point of dumbstruck-ness where my jaw just couldn't drop any lower. The sound of the water is so deep and loud and angry and the billowing mist rises up in the wind like an untamed animal. Standing on the edge of Garganta del Diablo was seriously like standing on the edge of the world! It's like the earth made a shelf and all the water in the world is just pouring over in torrents into a white cloud of mist, nothingness, and there's the sparrows zooming in and out of the clouds frm the cliffs. How I envied them!
But I think one of my favorite moments was being on top of Garganta del Diablo and screaming in hysterical laughter with Erica as the billows of mist just overwhelmed us with droplets. Such an indescribable fleeting feeling. Nothing will ever recapture it or do it justice, not this journal, not any picture, or blog. Walking back I remember thinking "If I lived my whole life never knowing that this place exists, I'd never really understand what a true wealth of beauty and wonder exists in this world."
After lunch we walked through the lower pass and got REALLY close to the waterfalls. The wind, the water, the roar, the intensity of being right up in the face of the falls vs. the sheer disbelief and breathlessness of the Panoramic of it all. It literally looked like Jurassic Park from afar, complete with circling vultures, strange South American racoons, monkeys, toucans, deer, and yellow and black striped spiders! Then, as if I wasn't wet enought yet, we went on a speed boat through the strong murky churning water, zooming us around and chargning us into the billowing clouds where the water crashed into the river. We were screaming and laughing and choking and almost drowning nas we were about crushed by these towering monsters. I kept trying to open my eyes and savor the moment but it was so intense all I got were bried flashes and blinks while I seriously thought I was going to die! Greatest moment of my life... almost.
I was talking with Erica just now about how in all our adventures, its incredible fun and amazement and we are so lucky and grateful but there is such an intense desire to share it! I want my family and friends to see with me what I get to see. I want them to understand what I'm learning and grow with me in my experience.
At sun down we went to the end of Argentina, literally! From a look-out point one cant see where the Parana river intersects with the Iguazu and see Paraguay on the left and Brazil on the right... all as the neon tangerine sun sets in a pink lavender haze over the Chaco rainforest. Moments like that just... I can't comprehend them even when I'm the one in them! I can't begin to describe them to people back home. No one will understand this as much as I would die to have them."
17 de Octubre
"I wanna talk about the Guarani village we visited this morning. They live in a pretty secluded part of Misiones, Argentina. Their village only contains 1,000 people and that is quite alot for them. They don't have a written language because they believe speech is the distinct spirit of the speaker and it is a nhonor to be able to speak without holding a paper in one's hand. They are therefore very protective of their words. They don't talk very much. They used to be hunters and getherers but there are so few animals left in the rainforest that they can't live like that anymore. They have to buy the food that they can't grow themselves, so they rely on carting light-skinned tourists through their home, showing us their huts, traps, singing us songs in Guarani, and selling us their handicrafts.
Pascua, our guide, described to us the rules that the hunters of the clan had to observe. There were 2-3 hunters per family group and they were all overseen by a "boss" figure. They set precise traps in the forest, each hunter specialized in a specific trap for a specific animal, which had to be killed without bleeding. If the animal bled then it couldn't be eaten. Also, if the animal was still alive when the hunter came upon it caught in his trap, then he couldn't kill it or it would bring him bad luck. He could also never catch more than 2 animals in one trap. If the hunter failed even just once, he would no longer be allowed to hunt.
Walking through the heart of the rainforest , amongst swarms of mosquitos and blue and yellow butterflies, we noticed marks on the tree trunks. Pascua told us those wre taken to be used as medicines. Also the Guarani believe that Pachamama, Mother Earth their deity, had gifted the rain forest to their people and the open plains to the white people, and they were forbidden to pass in between. They actually lived near the falls area and believed that tha cataratas (waterfalls) were the incarnation of their gods, their guardians almost. I can completely understand that, after seeing how magnificent they were yesterday. I envy their profound connection to the natural world. I never was much of an outdoorsy person before, but seeing the outstanding works of nature that I've been fortunate enough to encounter down here really gives me a sense of respect and wonder. It makes me want to rediscover what being a human and living in this world really means."
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Backdated blogs (as promised): La Casita
15 de Octubre
"I skipped class again yesterday to visit the kids. They're getting a new roof over the patio in the playground! We went to the futbol cancha (soccer field) and made bracelets to give away on Mother's Day this Sunday. After lunch though, Lilian, Marisol, Daiana, and Julieta secluded themselves to the back room to pray immediately, all on their own, and again they broke themselves down into sobs! I was the only there with them so I stroked their backs and hair and held little Mauricio while he napped, trying to keep him quiet, but I really didn't know what more I could do for them. They seemed to do an amazing job of taking care of each other though. There was so much love between theses little girls that it just blew my mind. They were each praying for their own families, and struggles, and fears, as well as for eachother. But where one girl was crying, there were at least 2 more hugging and stroking her and making sure she was surrounded and supported. They took turns letting it all out. Even little Melina was supplying everybody with fresh tissue paper to wipe up the tears.
And they do that everyday! How can a kid of 13 years old have that much to cry about everyday? I couldn't functino with the weight of so much emotion! Karen, the Canadian volunteer, filled me in a little about some of the girl's situations. Two of the girls, sisters, are part of a family of 13 siblngs raised by a single mom. Their mother is dying of cancer. So not only are they facing the reality of becoming orphaned, but additionally, another sister of theirs committed suicide last year and now a brother claims that after their mother passes he plans to kill himself also. And for some reason all the siblings blame their mother's illness on the oldest daughter for causing her extra stress or something like that! How could a 14 year old deal with all that?? Feeling responsible of the deaths and degradation of her whole family? My biggest tragedy at 14 was having acne and no friends!
Also one of the girls stole some pesos out of Karen's purse for the second day in a row. Silvia talked to the kids and pointed out 4 or 5 of them who'd stolen from La Casita and its volunteers before She said we're a family here and we support and love each other and have to trust each other. The money reappeared. Apparently it was the first time they'd given anything back, so that's a good sign that they do care and despite the senses of desperation and opportunism that they've known since birth, we've taught them some integrity. The girl responsible and her 3 siblings sleep on the dirt floor and have no money at all, so I guess $20 pesos ($5 US dollars) has a much greater significance for her than to us volunteers. Still, I'm so very proud of the principles La Casita tries to instill.
"I skipped class again yesterday to visit the kids. They're getting a new roof over the patio in the playground! We went to the futbol cancha (soccer field) and made bracelets to give away on Mother's Day this Sunday. After lunch though, Lilian, Marisol, Daiana, and Julieta secluded themselves to the back room to pray immediately, all on their own, and again they broke themselves down into sobs! I was the only there with them so I stroked their backs and hair and held little Mauricio while he napped, trying to keep him quiet, but I really didn't know what more I could do for them. They seemed to do an amazing job of taking care of each other though. There was so much love between theses little girls that it just blew my mind. They were each praying for their own families, and struggles, and fears, as well as for eachother. But where one girl was crying, there were at least 2 more hugging and stroking her and making sure she was surrounded and supported. They took turns letting it all out. Even little Melina was supplying everybody with fresh tissue paper to wipe up the tears.
And they do that everyday! How can a kid of 13 years old have that much to cry about everyday? I couldn't functino with the weight of so much emotion! Karen, the Canadian volunteer, filled me in a little about some of the girl's situations. Two of the girls, sisters, are part of a family of 13 siblngs raised by a single mom. Their mother is dying of cancer. So not only are they facing the reality of becoming orphaned, but additionally, another sister of theirs committed suicide last year and now a brother claims that after their mother passes he plans to kill himself also. And for some reason all the siblings blame their mother's illness on the oldest daughter for causing her extra stress or something like that! How could a 14 year old deal with all that?? Feeling responsible of the deaths and degradation of her whole family? My biggest tragedy at 14 was having acne and no friends!
Also one of the girls stole some pesos out of Karen's purse for the second day in a row. Silvia talked to the kids and pointed out 4 or 5 of them who'd stolen from La Casita and its volunteers before She said we're a family here and we support and love each other and have to trust each other. The money reappeared. Apparently it was the first time they'd given anything back, so that's a good sign that they do care and despite the senses of desperation and opportunism that they've known since birth, we've taught them some integrity. The girl responsible and her 3 siblings sleep on the dirt floor and have no money at all, so I guess $20 pesos ($5 US dollars) has a much greater significance for her than to us volunteers. Still, I'm so very proud of the principles La Casita tries to instill.
Backdated Blogs (as promised): 21st Birthday!
11, 12, & 13 de Octubre
"I have the best families in the entire world! PROVEN FACT! Well, in the Americas at least. PA PANAMERICANA! And and Jorger and the family just threw me an asado on the roof of our building! It was lovely. A salad of tomatoes, eggs, and potatoes, bread, chorizo, blood sausage, and 2 different cuts of really rich meat. I ate it, and I liked it, and I even wanted more, that's how I know Argentina has transformed me! There was red wine and a delicious torta with dulce and this really sweet syrup that Ana made for me. They sang for me in Spanish and we took lots of photos and I just love them. So much! I'm terified of being forgotten when I leave, that the next girl will be cooler than me, and that I'll never actually come back to Argentina.
This morning I received a care package from Mom at 10:30am. It was a beautiful chocolate birthday cake that read "Happy 21st Kelly!" conceived in the EEUU but baked and delivered in Buenos Aires.
Erica, Tom, Emily, and I went to the park this afternoon and it was absolutely heavenly, filled with Argentinos, performers, families, and the 4 of us eating birthday cake, sandwhiches, and drinking mate. A rasta vendor came by and gave me a free ring when they told him it was my birthday. Later that night, I brought the rest of the cake home and let it loose for the starved sugar-hungry hiyenas in my house, I stole a slice and took it downstairs to Juanito at the gate. Then we went out to the Thelonious jazz club and shared a bottle of Cabernet, the boys ordered dirty martinis just to be cool while Emily and I shared a cheese platter. I got a glass of pink champagne and a frozen mojito bought for me... CLASSIEST NIGHT OF DRINKS EVER!
The following night I went to see La Tragedie Florentine and Violanta, 2 one act operas about love triangles and death. Very impressive! The Teatro Colon is so grandiose, so lassy, and just plain gorgeous really. I felt so erudite just being there amongst the men in tuxes and women in evening gowns. The voices were spetacular also of course!"
"I have the best families in the entire world! PROVEN FACT! Well, in the Americas at least. PA PANAMERICANA! And and Jorger and the family just threw me an asado on the roof of our building! It was lovely. A salad of tomatoes, eggs, and potatoes, bread, chorizo, blood sausage, and 2 different cuts of really rich meat. I ate it, and I liked it, and I even wanted more, that's how I know Argentina has transformed me! There was red wine and a delicious torta with dulce and this really sweet syrup that Ana made for me. They sang for me in Spanish and we took lots of photos and I just love them. So much! I'm terified of being forgotten when I leave, that the next girl will be cooler than me, and that I'll never actually come back to Argentina.
This morning I received a care package from Mom at 10:30am. It was a beautiful chocolate birthday cake that read "Happy 21st Kelly!" conceived in the EEUU but baked and delivered in Buenos Aires.
Erica, Tom, Emily, and I went to the park this afternoon and it was absolutely heavenly, filled with Argentinos, performers, families, and the 4 of us eating birthday cake, sandwhiches, and drinking mate. A rasta vendor came by and gave me a free ring when they told him it was my birthday. Later that night, I brought the rest of the cake home and let it loose for the starved sugar-hungry hiyenas in my house, I stole a slice and took it downstairs to Juanito at the gate. Then we went out to the Thelonious jazz club and shared a bottle of Cabernet, the boys ordered dirty martinis just to be cool while Emily and I shared a cheese platter. I got a glass of pink champagne and a frozen mojito bought for me... CLASSIEST NIGHT OF DRINKS EVER!
The following night I went to see La Tragedie Florentine and Violanta, 2 one act operas about love triangles and death. Very impressive! The Teatro Colon is so grandiose, so lassy, and just plain gorgeous really. I felt so erudite just being there amongst the men in tuxes and women in evening gowns. The voices were spetacular also of course!"
Friday, November 5, 2010
The goodbyes have already begun
Well, today is here.
And tomorrow is coming.
Which we all knew it would. The only thing is that when I looked at my life after college, I never saw any farther than tomorrow (little orphan Annie, please shut up). Last week was just overall terrible and left me feeling extremely sad and anxious at the prospect of living in a world without the people who I've grown to love down here, people like Jorge, and Ana and the kids, like Geraldine my Oriental theatre coach, like Alejandro my nerdy tango partner, like Silvia and Mariela and all my little ninos at La Casita, like Juanito my night security guard who invites me to drink the mate and share life lessons, like Fede and Sol and CoQui and Guille and Ana and Paula and Diego at ISA who know my name and to expect me every Thursday afternoon with a steaming bag of Chantilly's empanadas, I'm gonna miss those empis.
This week was a week of lasts.
Last dinner at home with the family, last night dancing tango and salsa at La Viruta, last final exam at Universidad de Belgrano and actually EVER again as an undergrad, last acting class at Centro Integracion Teatral, last trip to La Casita and last hugs and kisses from the kids who were never part of my plan when I came, but who've transformed my life in ways I don't even know yet. Those angelic little devils who used to terrify me, now I wish I could fit them all in my suitcase! I think the scary part about the saying goodbye is the fear of being forgotten. For los ninos I decided to leave them a little reminder that they are loved, even from the other side of the world. So I bought like 40 pairs of socks, cozy, warm, comfy, soft, socks, and painted on all of them "Te amo." They went nuts when I passed them out yesterday. They were first just excited for presents, and several of them stormed the pile and stashed like 4 pairs into their backpacks before coming back for more. But I don't know if I'll ever forget Julieta's and Lilian's faces when they realized what the message said. It was like seeing a flower swell up with sunshine and explode in a bloom of radiant smiles. It's the little things like that... like the music in Silvia's voice when she exclaims "Kelly!" and the plump little cheeks I get to kiss hello and goodbye, and how Milagros broke a little reluctant half smile from her gloomy mood when I told her "Te bancamos" (which I defiinitely learned from Alejandro, Gracias amigo!), and the tears in Abuelita's eyes when I said goodbye to her, and how she called me "nena" and "mi vida," and how Mariano didn't wanna show it but was super proud that he finished the math problems I gave him so much so that he wanted to keep going with them after I left.
I hate leaving them behind... but at the same time, now I have an anchor here. I have something left behind so that when I return, it will be a little bit like coming home. A very different home, but still. At the end of the day, I can't live this life forever. I feel like as this trip has been drawing to and end it feels more like waiting... I can't imagine leaving, but I also can't imagine staying.
Besides, I've done everything that I came down here to do, and more.
I traveled to Carilo, Mendoza, Calafate, Rosario, and Iguazu absolutely crisscrossing the whole of Argentina.
I visited Santiago Chile, Rio de Janeiro Brazil, and Colonia Uruguay, briefly but enough to get a sampling of the different cultures of South America.
I took four university courses and wrote a total of 7 papers in Spanish.
I took bi weekly tango classes.
I took two acting classes in the city with locals.
I volunteered once a week in Escobar.
I saw an opera at Teatro Colon.
I went on a date.
I went on an audition.
I dyed my hair pink.
I drank mate, Malbec, Fernet, Quilmes, pisco, and Caiphirnhas.
I also turned 21!
I bought leather boots.
I ate steak.
I swam in the Atlantic ocean and the Rio de la Plata.
I crossed the Andes Mountains.
I learned a little Portugese.
I went to a gay marriage rally on the day it was passed by the first country in Latin America.
I made friends from Chile, Brazil, Venezuela, Spain, Holland, Denmark, Australia, England, Canada, Ireland, and all over the United States.
I don't think I could ask for anything more. Goodbye is never easy, but it doesn't mean the end of the adventure. Just the start of a new one.
Speaking of goodbyes, I went with Ana to the cemetary on Sunday to see Jorge's resting place. We left flowers, Ana said a prayer, and I told her how much I miss Jorge, all his help, his jokes, his dancing in the car, how he always ALWAYS had to finish dinner with a dessert, and little things like that. I felt like saying it to her in front of him was as close as I would get to actually thanking him for being my Argentine father and making my time here so valuable. We realized that the last time I saw him was on my birthday asado. Ana had invited the whole family as a last big goodbye party for me, but no one could have known at the time just how precious was that goodbye would be.
I feel so overwhelmingly blessed I can't even describe.
ps. I have a TON of journal entries and photos that will be posted retrospectively. I've just been too preoccupied to get around to them and I apologize. I'll be state-side on Sunday so expect them within the next week :)
And tomorrow is coming.
Which we all knew it would. The only thing is that when I looked at my life after college, I never saw any farther than tomorrow (little orphan Annie, please shut up). Last week was just overall terrible and left me feeling extremely sad and anxious at the prospect of living in a world without the people who I've grown to love down here, people like Jorge, and Ana and the kids, like Geraldine my Oriental theatre coach, like Alejandro my nerdy tango partner, like Silvia and Mariela and all my little ninos at La Casita, like Juanito my night security guard who invites me to drink the mate and share life lessons, like Fede and Sol and CoQui and Guille and Ana and Paula and Diego at ISA who know my name and to expect me every Thursday afternoon with a steaming bag of Chantilly's empanadas, I'm gonna miss those empis.
This week was a week of lasts.
Last dinner at home with the family, last night dancing tango and salsa at La Viruta, last final exam at Universidad de Belgrano and actually EVER again as an undergrad, last acting class at Centro Integracion Teatral, last trip to La Casita and last hugs and kisses from the kids who were never part of my plan when I came, but who've transformed my life in ways I don't even know yet. Those angelic little devils who used to terrify me, now I wish I could fit them all in my suitcase! I think the scary part about the saying goodbye is the fear of being forgotten. For los ninos I decided to leave them a little reminder that they are loved, even from the other side of the world. So I bought like 40 pairs of socks, cozy, warm, comfy, soft, socks, and painted on all of them "Te amo." They went nuts when I passed them out yesterday. They were first just excited for presents, and several of them stormed the pile and stashed like 4 pairs into their backpacks before coming back for more. But I don't know if I'll ever forget Julieta's and Lilian's faces when they realized what the message said. It was like seeing a flower swell up with sunshine and explode in a bloom of radiant smiles. It's the little things like that... like the music in Silvia's voice when she exclaims "Kelly!" and the plump little cheeks I get to kiss hello and goodbye, and how Milagros broke a little reluctant half smile from her gloomy mood when I told her "Te bancamos" (which I defiinitely learned from Alejandro, Gracias amigo!), and the tears in Abuelita's eyes when I said goodbye to her, and how she called me "nena" and "mi vida," and how Mariano didn't wanna show it but was super proud that he finished the math problems I gave him so much so that he wanted to keep going with them after I left.
I hate leaving them behind... but at the same time, now I have an anchor here. I have something left behind so that when I return, it will be a little bit like coming home. A very different home, but still. At the end of the day, I can't live this life forever. I feel like as this trip has been drawing to and end it feels more like waiting... I can't imagine leaving, but I also can't imagine staying.
Besides, I've done everything that I came down here to do, and more.
I traveled to Carilo, Mendoza, Calafate, Rosario, and Iguazu absolutely crisscrossing the whole of Argentina.
I visited Santiago Chile, Rio de Janeiro Brazil, and Colonia Uruguay, briefly but enough to get a sampling of the different cultures of South America.
I took four university courses and wrote a total of 7 papers in Spanish.
I took bi weekly tango classes.
I took two acting classes in the city with locals.
I volunteered once a week in Escobar.
I saw an opera at Teatro Colon.
I went on a date.
I went on an audition.
I dyed my hair pink.
I drank mate, Malbec, Fernet, Quilmes, pisco, and Caiphirnhas.
I also turned 21!
I bought leather boots.
I ate steak.
I swam in the Atlantic ocean and the Rio de la Plata.
I crossed the Andes Mountains.
I learned a little Portugese.
I went to a gay marriage rally on the day it was passed by the first country in Latin America.
I made friends from Chile, Brazil, Venezuela, Spain, Holland, Denmark, Australia, England, Canada, Ireland, and all over the United States.
I don't think I could ask for anything more. Goodbye is never easy, but it doesn't mean the end of the adventure. Just the start of a new one.
Speaking of goodbyes, I went with Ana to the cemetary on Sunday to see Jorge's resting place. We left flowers, Ana said a prayer, and I told her how much I miss Jorge, all his help, his jokes, his dancing in the car, how he always ALWAYS had to finish dinner with a dessert, and little things like that. I felt like saying it to her in front of him was as close as I would get to actually thanking him for being my Argentine father and making my time here so valuable. We realized that the last time I saw him was on my birthday asado. Ana had invited the whole family as a last big goodbye party for me, but no one could have known at the time just how precious was that goodbye would be.
I feel so overwhelmingly blessed I can't even describe.
ps. I have a TON of journal entries and photos that will be posted retrospectively. I've just been too preoccupied to get around to them and I apologize. I'll be state-side on Sunday so expect them within the next week :)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
More Time: in the end that's all we want
I realize that I have not written in an extremely long time. In all honesty, not only have I not had the energy or desire to try and sum up my thoughts publicly, I've been outright dreading it. This is not a blog I ever anticipated nor would have ever wanted to write.
I have some very sad news from Argentina. Jorge, my host-father and the 9 year partner of my host-mom Ana, passed away two weeks ago while I was away on my trip to Brazil. He suffered a heart attack in his sleep on Dia de la Madre, Mother's Day. I just found out on Monday. Santi, Jorge's son and my host-brother, is living with his mother now, not Ana, and although I do not know how he is doing (I can only imagine), I know that he is surrounded by his friends right now who are wishing him well. Ana is still struggling to accept the sudden loss of the love of her life. It's a fresh and frightening battle everyday. But still she makes a point of reminding me and all of her other well-wishers that she believes in God and hopes He has a plan. Life must continue, she says.
For me it is very strange. I know that Jorge was not my father, but at the very least he was a good friend, a confidante, someone who I relied upon for help when I needed it, and even grew to admire. I remember that Monday I'd been so excited to tell him all about my travels and show off how well my Spanish has become. He taught me so much. I wish I could thank him now.
But more than that, I am pained for the family now. They opened their home and their lives to me. They shared with me their traditions, their daily routines, their memories, and went to every trouble to ensure that I felt like I was one of them. I do. And now that that family of mine is torn apart and hurting, I have this awful absurd unfounded feeling that when I pack up my suitcase and board the plane 7 days from now, I will be abandoning them.
I already had a terrible dreading and anxiety about leaving here. I knew I would. But I also feel like now everything is changed. It's my last weekend in the city and instead of hitting the bars and boliches and taking the boisterous BsAs nightlife by storm, I'm eating dinner at home with Ana and the kids. There's really, truly nowhere else in this wide world I'd rather be.
I am not at all ready to go.
I feel so irreconcilably torn.
I don't have sinply A home or A family. In reality, I have two of each. My heart, in transient orbit, is being pulled as if by gravity to two separate spheres, confused and helpless to drive itself towards the wisest course.
Time. It is made, and taken, and spent, and lost, and killed, and counted. And somehow though it never rests or ceases its self perpetuation, there never seems to be enough of it.
Siempre es un tema del tiempo.
I have some very sad news from Argentina. Jorge, my host-father and the 9 year partner of my host-mom Ana, passed away two weeks ago while I was away on my trip to Brazil. He suffered a heart attack in his sleep on Dia de la Madre, Mother's Day. I just found out on Monday. Santi, Jorge's son and my host-brother, is living with his mother now, not Ana, and although I do not know how he is doing (I can only imagine), I know that he is surrounded by his friends right now who are wishing him well. Ana is still struggling to accept the sudden loss of the love of her life. It's a fresh and frightening battle everyday. But still she makes a point of reminding me and all of her other well-wishers that she believes in God and hopes He has a plan. Life must continue, she says.
For me it is very strange. I know that Jorge was not my father, but at the very least he was a good friend, a confidante, someone who I relied upon for help when I needed it, and even grew to admire. I remember that Monday I'd been so excited to tell him all about my travels and show off how well my Spanish has become. He taught me so much. I wish I could thank him now.
But more than that, I am pained for the family now. They opened their home and their lives to me. They shared with me their traditions, their daily routines, their memories, and went to every trouble to ensure that I felt like I was one of them. I do. And now that that family of mine is torn apart and hurting, I have this awful absurd unfounded feeling that when I pack up my suitcase and board the plane 7 days from now, I will be abandoning them.
I already had a terrible dreading and anxiety about leaving here. I knew I would. But I also feel like now everything is changed. It's my last weekend in the city and instead of hitting the bars and boliches and taking the boisterous BsAs nightlife by storm, I'm eating dinner at home with Ana and the kids. There's really, truly nowhere else in this wide world I'd rather be.
I am not at all ready to go.
I feel so irreconcilably torn.
I don't have sinply A home or A family. In reality, I have two of each. My heart, in transient orbit, is being pulled as if by gravity to two separate spheres, confused and helpless to drive itself towards the wisest course.
Time. It is made, and taken, and spent, and lost, and killed, and counted. And somehow though it never rests or ceases its self perpetuation, there never seems to be enough of it.
Siempre es un tema del tiempo.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
This is an apology
My time here is drawing to a close which means that my weeks have become that much more compacted of things worth writing about, leaving very few free moments to actually write.
I'm about to take off on a 10 day adventure to Iguazu Falls and Rio de Janeiro so I will not be able to update for awhile however I will have millions of tales to tell upon return I'm sure.
But in the meantime, please remind me to discuss:
My family asado
My birthday in the park with jazz
My trip to Teatro Colon
La Casita de los ninos
Bueno?
Listo.
Dale!
CHAO!
I'm about to take off on a 10 day adventure to Iguazu Falls and Rio de Janeiro so I will not be able to update for awhile however I will have millions of tales to tell upon return I'm sure.
But in the meantime, please remind me to discuss:
My family asado
My birthday in the park with jazz
My trip to Teatro Colon
La Casita de los ninos
Bueno?
Listo.
Dale!
CHAO!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
International Audition Insight
Well yesterday was the day! I finally made it in to audition for Cibrian and Mahler's Dracula el musical.
It was...
interesting.
SO unlike any other audition I've ever done. First of all in the States normally your asked to come prepared with a few bars of a song or monologue or something, especially in massive open calls where there's lots of "Oh I think I wanna be an actor today!" people to weed out. But not in Argentina.
Our initial audition process was somewhat more of a call back from my point of view. We were asked to come in rehearsal clothes, which to the portenas meant fishnets and bootyshorts, and greeted by the eccentric and flamboyant Pepito Cibrian, the Elton John of Argentina of sorts. He speaks with a soft high voice, wears giant circle sunglasses, and had his enormous white dog in the theatre, just wandering the aisles and the stage!
They split us up into groups to learn a few phrases of the love balad. It was pretty but fairly simple, not Sondheim by any stretch that's for sure. So we gathered around this piano in the theatre lobby with this curly headed cute but nerdy lookin guy about 30 years old at the keys... the composer! No big deal, we're just singing Mahler's own music back to him and hoping we're not slaughtering it! After we each took a turn he wrote down who he liked and passed us along to the next level.
Inside the theatre we stretched and warmed up on the stage (OOH it felt so good to be on a stage again!!) until the choreographer, also wearing booty shorts, called our attention and started to teach us the audition dance. Now, I did as much research as I could through Youtube to get an idea of what I'd be asked to do for this show. The only dancing I saw was a party waltz with women in huge hoop skirts, Les Mis wedding status. But for reasons I still have not deduced, we were dancing to an 80's pop song by Madonna! The first move was a bunch of shoulder and hip bounces and the last was a backbended pelvic thrust. You can fill in the rest of the dance from point A to point B with your own imagination... and it probably still won't come out as ridiculous as in reality.
After we shook our groove thangs, Pepito called up individual numbers at random and asked them to sing the whole love ballad, and more! Along with having them do strange adjustments, like having a girl tie up her shirt and sing it really seductively, or a guy sing the leading lady's solo. Needless to say... everyone waiting in the wings were shaking in our boots, me probably more than anyone being that I only memorized the few stanzas from the one love ballad and even cold reading them off a page would be difficult for me! Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) he only called about 10 people up out of the 100+ who were there and I wasn't one of them. The majority of us were then released and given the "Muchas gracias." One of the girls from my initial group was called back, and I remember thinking she was alright but definitely not spectacular. So in all honesty I have no idea what they were looking for! I asked one of the my fellow auditioners if that's how they all go, and he said yes almost exactly.
But hey! I did it. I sang my Spanish for Angel Mahler and danced my little heart out for Pepito so what more is there? All in all it was an exhilarating, harrowing, hilarious, and helpful experience that I'm really glad I had. After that ordeal, I should be able to walk into any audition confident and nerve-free right?
It was...
interesting.
SO unlike any other audition I've ever done. First of all in the States normally your asked to come prepared with a few bars of a song or monologue or something, especially in massive open calls where there's lots of "Oh I think I wanna be an actor today!" people to weed out. But not in Argentina.
Our initial audition process was somewhat more of a call back from my point of view. We were asked to come in rehearsal clothes, which to the portenas meant fishnets and bootyshorts, and greeted by the eccentric and flamboyant Pepito Cibrian, the Elton John of Argentina of sorts. He speaks with a soft high voice, wears giant circle sunglasses, and had his enormous white dog in the theatre, just wandering the aisles and the stage!
They split us up into groups to learn a few phrases of the love balad. It was pretty but fairly simple, not Sondheim by any stretch that's for sure. So we gathered around this piano in the theatre lobby with this curly headed cute but nerdy lookin guy about 30 years old at the keys... the composer! No big deal, we're just singing Mahler's own music back to him and hoping we're not slaughtering it! After we each took a turn he wrote down who he liked and passed us along to the next level.
Inside the theatre we stretched and warmed up on the stage (OOH it felt so good to be on a stage again!!) until the choreographer, also wearing booty shorts, called our attention and started to teach us the audition dance. Now, I did as much research as I could through Youtube to get an idea of what I'd be asked to do for this show. The only dancing I saw was a party waltz with women in huge hoop skirts, Les Mis wedding status. But for reasons I still have not deduced, we were dancing to an 80's pop song by Madonna! The first move was a bunch of shoulder and hip bounces and the last was a backbended pelvic thrust. You can fill in the rest of the dance from point A to point B with your own imagination... and it probably still won't come out as ridiculous as in reality.
After we shook our groove thangs, Pepito called up individual numbers at random and asked them to sing the whole love ballad, and more! Along with having them do strange adjustments, like having a girl tie up her shirt and sing it really seductively, or a guy sing the leading lady's solo. Needless to say... everyone waiting in the wings were shaking in our boots, me probably more than anyone being that I only memorized the few stanzas from the one love ballad and even cold reading them off a page would be difficult for me! Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) he only called about 10 people up out of the 100+ who were there and I wasn't one of them. The majority of us were then released and given the "Muchas gracias." One of the girls from my initial group was called back, and I remember thinking she was alright but definitely not spectacular. So in all honesty I have no idea what they were looking for! I asked one of the my fellow auditioners if that's how they all go, and he said yes almost exactly.
But hey! I did it. I sang my Spanish for Angel Mahler and danced my little heart out for Pepito so what more is there? All in all it was an exhilarating, harrowing, hilarious, and helpful experience that I'm really glad I had. After that ordeal, I should be able to walk into any audition confident and nerve-free right?
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